Saturday, July 31, 2010

Another Reason I'm Ready To Go

I have never been the type to have really good guy friends.  I am definitely a girl who has girlfriends.  I had the same group of friends from middle school through the middle of college.  Some came and went but there were six of us who were close.  Silly me, I thought we would be friends for life, but here's the story on where I was sadly mistaken. 

Within our group there were a few guys we were friends with and one of them was named John* (names not changed, because frankly I don't give a damn).  Junior year going into senior year of high school, we started dating.  If I remember correctly we were together for 9 months and he was "my first love" (and to this day, but hopefully not for long, my longest relationship).  We said I love you to each other, we went out on dates, and he brought me flowers :).  When we broke up things were kind of weird, we had a class together, and he was still good friends with all of my good friends.  I don't think we spent much time together after we broke up and eventually I left for college.  I stayed friends with my girls and so did he.

Him and I spoke on the phone a few times my freshman year, usually because of my bad judgment after a night of drinking haha.  But when I moved home after my sophomore year him and I started talking and hanging out again.  I was happy and things were good and we continued to talk when I moved back in the fall.  Sometime between that fall and winter John started mentioning that our good friend Jessica had been texting him and calling him.  Now, it was kind of an unspoken thing that she had a thing for him but I know she knew him and I were "dating". (I use quotations because I'm not sure what to call it because he never wanted to put a title on it) At first I laughed about it, never in a mean way, but eventually it started to bother me and I began to lose trust in her.  Even though we had lost touch a bit when I moved away I still considered her and I to be friends and I didn't know what to make of what she was doing.  

I was home for a few weeks during my winter break and my friend Sarah and I were hanging out and had asked a few of the girls if they wanted to do something.  Alice was the only one who wrote back and said that she would text us later.  We were going to go down to Illinois to look at the house John moved into with his friends.  After no one responded and Alice hadn't called us yet we ended up going down without her and hung out with him for a bit.  When we went to leave I was kissing John goodbye and there were squealing tires and what I swear was a purple neon at the end of the block turning the other way.  I got in the car, positive that I had seen Alice's car, and told Sarah.  Really girls, we had asked you earlier to hang out and then you ignored our calls and came down here by yourselves?  But obviously that didn't work out too well for them because they had seen me standing in the street with John.  Sarah and I drove around for awhile and then decided to drive past John's house a bit later to see if I was crazy and no, there was Alice's car parked out front.  I was so mad, all trust in Jessica (I know she was with Alice) was completely gone.

I don't think Sarah and I told them that we knew they were there that night.  But, a few days later, or maybe the next day, I was on my way home from working out and I got a text message from Jessica.  I can't remember what it said but it was along the lines of "John and her had been friends longer so I didn't deserve to be with him and he didn't like me anyway".  I. was. pissed.  I text John right away and he wrote back saying he didn't want to deal with the drama and that we were done.  Great, not only did I just get completely back stabbed by a good friend, but now I lost him too.  After I had done absolutely nothing wrong. 

I can't remember what happened but things got better with John, and Brenda and I were down at his house one night and her and I got to talking about the whole situation.  She told me that Jessica had been talking all of this shit about me to our friends. I was done with her, I couldn't believe 7+ years of friendship got thrown away over a guy.  Not a guy that I took from her, (not like that should bother her, remember Brenda's ex-boyfriend Carl, Jessica?) but a guy that I had seriously dated before and that we were all friends with.

Over the next year I fell out of touch with everyone in that group of friends except for Sarah.  I had done nothing wrong in that entire situation, yet I was the one alienated by the group.  I would watch on facebook as they would all make plans to hang out "with the group" but I was no longer part of it.  It was such a strange thing to me, she completely betrayed our friendship and threw it all out of the window but no one bothered to take a second look at that.  Shouldn't she have been the one kicked out of the group?  I know it may sound petty, but losing my friendships with them hit me hard.  Everything from middle school to high school is now different when I look back on it.  Going home while I was still in college wasn't fun anymore, and now I'm living here with less friends than I can count on one hand.  (I do have quite a few acquaintances, but that's no where near the same as a good friend)  

It still bothers me (obviously I wouldn't be writing this post if I didn't care) but I've begun to get over it and have recently reconnected with Alice and Jen. I will never be friends with Jessica again, that kind of betrayal and lack of consideration for our friendship does not deserve forgiveness in my book.  So now here I am, with a very small number of friends in the town I've lived all my life.  I'm ready to move on, I'll miss the few friends I still have, but I can't wait for the day I leave.

1 comment:

  1. I'm so sorry that happened to you! What are these girls thinking? They should know Jessica will do to them what she did to you the second she gets a chance!